Buffy & Spike 4ever!!!!! Yay!!!!!
by Cache1
Summary: Buffy & Spike, like, finally get 2gether!!!! (lets c how many ways we can put them together!)
1. Default Chapter

A/N: My frist fic!  
  
Ship: B?S 4ever!!  
  
Buffy was patrolling the graveyard when, for no good reason, she ran into Spike.  
  
"Spike," she squealed, "don't you have anything better to do then follow me around and ask me to have sex?"  
  
"Piss off, Slayer bint, luv," he said.  
  
"Well, I wasn't going to say no," Buffy said, hurt. Then her mind registered the fact that she WOULD have said no then taken him to his crypt.  
  
"Sod off and shag me," Spike said.  
  
"Okay!" Buffy said happily and lead Spike by the hand to his crypt.  
  
"Bloody hell!" he said on the way for no reason 'cept it sounds British.  
  
Well, five days, five nights of sex later, it was time for Buffy's period. Nothing happened.  
  
'Screw the pregnancy tests,' she thought, 'Spike gave me a baby. Now we'll get married and live happily ever after. I don't care what my best friends that fought beside me for five years think. Spike is god."  
  
She hummed a song and went skipping through the graveyard to find Spike.  
  
"Spike," she sang out when she got there, "I'm having a baby!!!!!"  
  
he picked her up by the waist and swung her around his head.  
  
"that's great, luv. Bloody great."  
  
"i know," she said.  
  
Spike cleared his throat and said, "I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time, luv." He reached into the pocket of his duster and pulled out a box, dropping to one knee.  
  
"will you marrie me"  
  
Buffy clasp her hands in sheer joy.  
  
"Spike," she said, "I thought you'd never ask"  
  
he slipped the 'bloody' ring on her finger  
  
"what will my friends say" she wondered  
  
"your friends only fought beside you for five years I'll be with you forever Or at least till you die and I stay young"  
  
"turn me" Buffy said  
  
"can't hurt teh baby."  
  
"turn me and after i Have the baby"  
  
"Luv 2, pet. Bloody hell, this is great!"  
  
  
  
Ten YeArs LAter::::  
  
  
  
Buffy, Spike and there twelve children lived in a house with a white picket fence. Spike was ALSO truned human by the pixies, and Angel hand found himself on the pointy end of the stake by Buffy when he dissiproved. Xander had been crippeled from the waist down and everyone else whos names I forgot ended up in a asylum. 


	2. another way I *star* in originality of p...

Chapter 2  
  
Ohhhh! Lets see just how many times, how many different ways we can put Buffy and Spike together! Ready? Lets go!  
  
  
  
Buffy was at the Bronze. She spotted a guy and for no reason knew he was a vampire. She went outside and without any problems cuz she was training with THE Sex God (Robbie be damned) and knew how to fight now. He was her equal, her other HALF. He was her. He knew her so well, and he taught her everything. She was in love. (love, lust, whats the diff?) So, she staked the vampire and his last words were:  
  
"You don't know what happened to William the Bloody, he said with a laugh, yet. You'll find out"  
  
Buffy stood puzzled. Didn't they only have two seconds to utter there final words? Maybe she needed to call, whats his name again? That watcher she had for five years. She stood there, puzzled and thinking about it. Then she shook her head, not caring, and went back into the Bronze.  
  
  
  
Spike came walking up the drive brooding. Yes, Spike was brooding, and even while he was brooding he was smirking. So, Spike walked up to see Buffy brooding and smirking.  
  
"Hey, Buf!" he called out.  
  
Some person came down stairs.  
  
Spike thought for a second, then couldn't remember that persons name. There was only one thing on his mind. And this 'thing' started with a b and rhymed with huffy. (Well, really, it started with an s and rhymed with hex, but the other fit in better with the romantic mood.)  
  
"Uh," Spike said, "What the bloody hell are you bloody hell doing?" he asked, and fro good measure and making sure the person knew he was British, he threw in another, "Bloody hell."  
  
"Not magick! I'm a lesbian indulging in not magick activities. Did I mention Lesbian?"  
  
"Uh, okay, person."  
  
The person nodded, and continued on.  
  
Spike wrung his hands 2gether and waited 4 Buffy 2 come downstairs.  
  
Buffy came downstairs looking puzzled.  
  
"Whats bloody hell! wrong, luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well, there I was sitting at the Bronze and then I was suddenly coming downstairs to cu."  
  
"Hunh. Well bloody maybe you should bloody ask bloody your bloody watcher. Bloody hell, what was his bloody name bloody again?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "Don't know. Don't really care. So, what did you have to say to me?"  
  
"Who said I bloody had bloody anything bloody to bloody say bloody 2 u? Bloody" he asked.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said.  
  
"oh. Well, I got my chip out."  
  
"No!" Buffy's eyes went wide, "now I'll have to stake you. Cruel World! Cruel World! BTW, how DID you get your chip out?"  
  
Spike paused, confused, "Ummm, can I [bloody] get [bloody] back to [bloody hell] you on [bloody] that?"  
  
"Sure. And don't interrupt my whining again. No one else does."  
  
"O[bloody]kay."  
  
"Now where was I? Oh, yes, What a world! Now I will have to kill the one man I love the most!"  
  
Spike beamed, but didn't say anything.  
  
"I don't know what do! I love Spike, and I don't want to send the person I love the most into hell! I don't know what do, Spike!!!" and, for effect, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Spike shrugged, "Want 2 [bloody] shag?"  
  
Buffy smiled, "Sure. That works."  
  
And they went off, hand in hand to Buffy's room.  
  
Xander walked in.  
  
"Xander!" Buffy said, stark naked "Hi! Me and Spike were patrolling and I got hurt, so he's showing he how to get feeling better."  
  
Xander shrugged, "Okay. Keep your clothes on, and Buf?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"No screwing Evil-Dead."  
  
Spike smiled, "I'll [bloody] remember that [bloody]."  
  
Xander smiled, "Good. Buffy? You have nothing 2 eat. Restock your fridge, k?"  
  
"K." Buffy said.  
  
And Buffy and Spike had S-E-X.  
  
  
  
END OF PART ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Buffy+Spike=Happy Understand???

Buffy woke up one reason, and for no good reason decided she loved Spike.  
  
"I love Spikey," Buff said out loud.  
  
Spike was romantically following Buffy around (known to us saner beings as 'stalking') and heard her say this.  
  
"Great," he yelled from other side of the closed window, "[bloody] great."  
  
Why no neighbors reported a blond man hanging around the Summers house and sitting on the roof, we will never know.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy asked, "Ru there?"  
  
"Yes [bleeding bloody cor]," Spike sang out. (get this: he SANG it. We all know Spike SINGS whenever he gets really happy)  
  
Buffy smiled, something she had found hard to do in her new lifetime, and only did it when Spike 'made her feel.'  
  
Spike smiled to; he had been waiting for this day for over a centaury. (He didn't know Buffy for over a century, but whatever. It * sounds * good. And did u catch the semi-colon?)  
  
Buffy kissed Spike. (wasn't the window closed?)  
  
Spike kissed her back and came in. They kissed and Buffy was happy. Spike was happy. It was good. They were happy together. Kissing, Spike and Buffy realized that they were always meant for each other. They kissed and were happy.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, breaking the kiss for the first time in five minutes (when Buffy kisses a vampire, she doesn't need to breath), " I am happy."  
  
"So [bloody] am I [bloody]."  
  
"Angel was only something that was there to, um, show me what love wasn't so I could know what love was with u."  
  
"[Bloody] Right, [cor] luv, [bloody hell]," Spikey said.  
  
Buff nodded, "I wonder what Zander will say?"  
  
"Who cares? Run away w/ me and get married."  
  
Buffy smiled (again. C how HAPPY she is with Spike).  
  
"Luv to." (who said this we will never know)  
  
Spike and Buffy smiled at each other, and Willow came in the room.  
  
"I need to interrupt this (cough) romantic moment (cough) 2 mention something. I am gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. I like Tara. Tara is also gay. Gay. Gay. I am lesbian. I like girls. Gay. Understand? Good."  
  
Willow walked out.  
  
Spike shook his head, and Buffy looked puzzled.  
  
"Who * is * that girl?" They both said together.  
  
"She's gay," Buffy said, then.  
  
Spike nodded, "Yeah, [bloody] now where [bloody] were [bloody] we?"  
  
Buffy frowned, "Want to start over from the part where I realize I am HAPPY with you?"  
  
Spike shook his head, "Naw,[bloody] lets [bloody] skip right [bloody] to the [bloody] kissing."  
  
"Not the sex?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spiek looked appalled, (CAN he look appalled? Is it even possible?) "Buffy! I don't care about the sex. I love U."  
  
Buffy nodded, and kissed him.  
  
"I am HAPPY with u, Spike. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. I was not happy with Angel. Or Riley. You are my forever-man."  
  
Spike nodded, looking like a drunk two-year-old (though how u would know what a drunk two year old would look like is beyond me), "I love you, Buffy."  
  
Buffy smiled (SEE? Again with the HAPPY thing), "Lets escape and start a life somewhere in Idaho."  
  
Spike smiled (he's HAPPY to), "Okay, but [bloody] you have [bloody] 2 forget [bloody] completely about [bloody] your duty as [cor] the bloody] slayer."  
  
Buffy was HAPPY. This was something she wanted to do for a while. "ok i have been waiting for a chance to stop saving the world for a while i know it was my duty that i did for five years and three lifetimes but your better than that you can make me HAPPY."  
  
"Spike nodded, g[bloody]ood."  
  
"Lets run away now."  
  
"o[bloody cor bleeding whelp wanker]k."  
  
And they ran away and were never seen again. (the world was taken over in a month by creepy demons, and hell reigned on earth. Everyone died, so no one saw Buffy again.) 


	4. Like, the !@ children!

The author has gotten over a few million requests from concerned citizens about Buffy and Spike's twelve children. I have taken it to myself to document their lives.  
  
Now, they had 6 girls and six boys. The 6 girls were names Joyce, Buffy, Dawn, Buffy 2, and Spike. The boys were named William, William, William, William, William, and on a bloody stroke of brilliance by the parents, Joe. All of them had BLOND hair, cuz this was their parents NATURAL color.  
  
Jo and Spike were the ouziders in this family. When teh Willams and the other girls went out they satied and house sat.  
  
  
  
Joe and Spik one day got landed with a baby from a passangea on the street. It was a young baby. They did not know whats to do. Then a man showed up, out of thin air,  
  
"hello, my name is oz," the man said  
  
"hi ozzz. How idi we get this baby?'  
  
"Well, I don't know."  
  
Then something happened. Oz started changing into a wolf. since they grew up in a TYPICAL AMERICAN HOUSEHOLD WITH NO TROUBLE AT ALL, they had no clue about what was happening. So, the wolf ate the baby.  
  
Really, he bit the baby, then they all ran away.  
  
  
  
So, the 2 members of a TYPICAL AMERICAN HOUSEHOLD were stuck with a TYPICAL BABY.  
  
  
  
Or so they thought..  
  
  
  
For the next month, there was a.. FULL MOON.  
  
~T~B~C~  
  
A/n: I am, like, so sorry that I, like, left you all with that knida cliffhanger. But, since I know how much u al l luv my story, I hop you;ll 4give me and all..  
  
And,. More B/S lata!!! 


End file.
